Daily Archives: May 10, 2012

Week 14: Disappointment

This week was filled with so many good things.  My parents were in town.  Jay went on an epic mountain bike ride on the peaks.  My photographs were on display downtown in the Artist’s Gallery.  Jay worked for the Overland Expo.  I gave not one, but two speeches at Toastmasters.  We had a great time at the first trail work day of the season.  For a week full of joy and promise, it ended with sadness and uncertainty.

Jay at trail work

Last Wednesday, we had what felt like an opportunity of a lifetime.  We interviewed to be the next Suburu IMBA Trail Care Crew.  This is our dream job and we have been thinking and talking about it for more than nine months.    Yesterday, we learned that we did not get the position.  It feels like a huge loss.  It was not just a job.  It was the start of a five year plan.  It seemed like the next logical step in our plan.  A way to continue to travel together while still working towards our respective careers.  It made sense.  Now, without that opportunity we are staring at blank map.  There is no clear path forward.

I am not afraid of a blank map, but the lack of direction is intimidating.  I want to start to draw lines and form boundaries to bring a new plan into view.  However, I am learning that sometimes it is most rewarding to just sit with the uncertainty.  As I sit here, with knots in my stomach and unemployment looming in six weeks, I am comforted in the knowledge that I sit next to my partner.  Together, Jay and I will untangle a way forward through this hairball of possibilities.  Who knows where we will be in July, but we will be there together and will keep taking risks to live a full and meaningful life.

This morning, the first day of knowing that we have no defined plan, we went out together for a mountain bike ride.  Without worrying about whether or not my mountain bike skills are good enough, I finally cleaned all of Soldier’s Trail.  We had a great ride together, just enjoying Flagstaff and one another.  It was actually one of the best days I have had in a long time.

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Two of my photographs in the window of the Artist’s Gallery downtown

Volunteering:  We participated in the first trail work day of the season with Flagstaff Biking Organization.  Sharon gave a tour at Riordan Mansion. I attended a planning meeting and continued to work on social media marketing for Sun Sounds of Arizona, promoting the 20th Annual Made in the Shade Beer Festival.

Beer of the Week:  Jay enjoyed the San Tan Devil’s Pale Ale and I enjoyed the Flagstaff Brewery Porter at Hops on Birch last night

Something New:  My parents were in town for a Road Scholar trip and we got to take them to a few of our favorite restaurants and local sites.

Highlight of Being in One Place: Finally cleaning Soldier’s Trail — having a local trail that I can ride before work.

Video of the Week: